BXBX NOVEL Chapter 252: Miyagis language is difficult — 252
Chapter 252: Miyagi\'s language is difficult — 252
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I wanted to get people interested in Miyagi.
So, although I should’ve been happy to hear her say that “she was interested on me,” my mind remained hazy and unsettled. I know the cause.
What I don’t like and what I do like.
These two words that Miyagi told me to make are making me depressed. Even though exams are over and spring break starts tomorrow, I keep thinking about the『things I don’t like』and the『things I do like,』out of my head. But I still haven’t been able to give an answer. I haven’t been able to create anything I don’t like or like that I need to tell Miyagi.
My legs naturally become heavy as I head home.
I let out a small breath and look around.
On the way home from college, she should be around this time of day. I stop and look for the tortoiseshell cat, and I hear a high pitched meow.
「Mike-chan, come here.」
I call out the name I have given her, and a tortoiseshell cat comes trotting over and lays down in front of me. At the edge of the dimly lit sidewalk, I squat down and pet the cat, which is used to people.
My favorite thing to do is pet Mike-chan.
It would be easier if Miyagi could be convinced by that, but I know it won’t work.
She is so cute.
Unlike Miyagi, Mike-chan, who is affectionate and serviceable, doesn’t run away or bite me no matter how much I pet her, probably because we have been together for a long time. She appears before me even on a cold winter day like today.
I sigh one sigh and pat Mike-chan’s back.
If it’s not a favorite thing, but a “thing,” then there is one thing I love more than petting Mike-chan.
I liked the black cat chopstick rest and gave me a black cat pen case as a Christmas present. At the aquarium she smiles at the penguins, at the zoo she wants to see the shoebill, and to me she is brusque and says difficult things that I cannot answer.
I like Miyagi like that.
Miyagi also said,『Tell me what you really like too,』so I shouldn’t have to limit myself to what I like. And I don’t mind if “things” become “people” as long as they fit into the category of “likes.”
But I am sure that even if I told her, she wouldn’t believe me, nor would I be able to give her an answer that would convince her. Everything about me is tied to Miyagi, and while I can’t find any other answers, I really need to find other answers that will satisfy Miyagi.
It is too difficult.
Since Miyagi has taken an interest in me, I want to make what I don’t like and what I do like as she says, but it would be useless to tell her the answer that will lead to her because she has blocked the answer『the same as Miyagi.』
If so, what should I do?
I pat the throat of the tortoiseshell cat, which is making a rumbling, comforting sound, and get up.
「See you again, Mike-chan.」
With a small wave of my hand, the amiable Mike-chan makes a small『meow』and clings to my leg.
So cute.
Miyagi will be back after having dinner with Utsunomiya, so there is no point in leaving early. I’m not sure if I should pet Mike-chan for longer, but I don’t want to stay too long because I might catch a cold. I pat Mike-chan’s head once more and then walk down the path leading to the house.
Up the stairs to the third floor.
I enter the empty house and spread out a magazine in my room, but I cannot concentrate. It’s early, but I decide to make a simple dinner and eat a bowl of minced chicken with an egg. I go back to my room, sit on my bed, and look at the cat on the chopstick rest on the table.
Miyagi, like a cat, gives me a cat because she thinks I like cats. There are things I love more than cats, but Miyagi never notices. There must’ve been a number of times when she could have noticed.
But Miyagi didn’t try to notice and I didn’t tell her. I never told her I liked her. I probably won’t ever say it. I don’t want to say it. And yet, sometimes I feel the irresistible urge to say it.
If there is a good time.
I sometimes think about that, but I know that if I say, “If there is a good timing,” there will never be a good timing. I am so eager to maintain our current relationship that I am ready to miss a good time.
I exhale a long, thin breath and then lie down on the bed.
There’s no way I can say I like her.
Once spoken, words cannot be undone.
They remain with the person who hears them, even though they are invisible. I can’t erase it with an eraser, I can’t fill it with paint. If I say I love her, it will remain in Miyagi and we will never be able to return to the same relationship we had before I said it.
And then.
My words cannot reach Miyagi now. To her, my words are lighter than a shoebill’s wings and not worth believing. That’s the kind of thing, but I can’t say it because I know the words are powerful enough to change Miyagi’s obsession with roommates.
What I don’t like and what I do like.
Just as there are things I like, there are things I don’t like. I hate that Miyagi hates that I think I like her, but I can’t tell her that either, and it’s not the answer Miyagi wants. She didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t want to be told to stay away, and she won’t believe that answer either.
Miyagi’s words are a curse.
They keep haunting me to create what cannot be created.
——If this is how it was going to be, I should’ve just done it alone, instead of saying I wanted to do it together.
I hugged Pen-chan, which had been placed next to my pillow.
It wasn’t something I would show to anyone, but it was better to show Miyagi how I was doing it. It’s far better than being forced to make something I don’t like and something I do, and having to keep worrying my head about it.
I roll Pen-chan on the floor and close my eyes tightly.
Miyagi hasn’t yet returned.
She’s not lying when she says she doesn’t mind being ordered around.
I gently crawl my fingers along the nape of my neck.
I stroke my collarbone and touch my body over my clothes.
Miyagi’s face comes to mind as she tells me to do it alone. At the same time, Miyagi’s gravelly voice heard on this bed is replayed, and the heat of her body is also revived.
I turn up the hem of my clothes, crawl my hand from my side to under my ribs as I did when I touched Miyagi, and exhale.
I understand.
Repeatedly doing these things doesn’t satisfy me. Only the desire to touch Miyagi and be touched grows.
I open my eyes and take my hand out of my clothes before relieving my desire.
「Stupid Miyagi!」
I let out the heat that has nowhere else to go that has built up in my body along with my complaints and look at the platypus on the floor that is Miyagi’s favorite and often holds my hand. Just as my eyes met the tissue cover, I heard a short ringtone from my phone, well-timed or not, and I jerked up.
I got off the bed and took out my phone, which I had left in my bag, and looked at the screen to see that I had received a message not from Miyagi but from Mio.
『If you’re free tomorrow, we can hang out.』
It said something I hadn’t said when we met at the college today, and I sat up against the bed and returned the usual line.
『Sorry. I was busy.』
『Can you at least ask me what I want?』
『If I don’t tell you what I want first, it means I want to refuse you.』
『As expected of you, Hazuki. You’re invited to a dinner, but you seriously can’t?』
I send a reply stating only that I can’t, and she call me back.
「Well then, spring break. Can I go to your house, Hazuki?」
The moment I pick up the phone, I hear words that have nothing to do with the message.
「Hey, Mio. What did you just say?」
「I gave up, but maybe you can come to the party?」
「I won’t go.」
「Well, let’s say we play at your house, Hazuki. You said before that your room was untidy, but it’s spring break and you can tidy your room as much as you want.」
「My room is tidy, but I’m still busy.」
「Still, you can open the door for at least one day. Let’s have fun. Or go out with me to a blind date.」
I don’t like either.
I would like to say, “I don’t want to do either,” but I don’t have the kind of errands that will keep me busy all spring break, which is a reasonably long vacation. Even if I did, it would be impossible.
「I don’t mind if we play, but would you like to meet outdoors?」
If I had to accept either one, I would choose to play with Mio alone, but I don’t want her to come to my house. Miyagi wouldn’t like it and I don’t want Miyagi and Mio to meet.
「Then bring Shiori-chan over.」
「Eh, why?」
「Because I want to see her.」
Mio says happily.
「Miyagi, she seems to be busy though.」
I don’t think she’ll ever be busy, but let’s just say she’s busy.
「Even if she’s busy, she would have at least one free day, usually.」
「Maybe there is, but Miyagi is shy and an indoor person.」
「Ah, she’s an indoor person. Then, I guess I’ll go to your house. Also, I don’t mind her being shy.」
「Even if you don’t mind, I think Miyagi does, Mio.」
「Don’t worry, don’t worry. She just need to meet enough people that she doesn’t get shy.」
No good.
At times like this, Mio doesn’t back down.
If I had a good reason, I wouldn’t say anything unreasonable, but I don’t have a reason to make Mio pull away now. Besides, if I forcibly refused without a good reason, it would be a corner turn, and it would be troublesome if they got a hunch as to why I wouldn’t let her see Miyagi.
「…Well, then, I’ll ask Miyagi about her schedule, but don’t get your hopes up.」
「OK. I’ll be waiting in anticipation.」
Mio’s happy voice echoed in my ears.