If You Could Hear My Heart

“Chaomu, what do you think of Achi as a person?” Zhou Ran said indifferently.

She was sitting next to Shen Cexian, her gaze fixed on Xu Chaomu’s face.

The girl had grown increasingly beautiful, but beauty was the least of what Shen Chi lacked.

Every move Xu Chaomu made was under her scrutiny, she refused to overlook any detail.

No sooner had the question been posed than Zhou Ran saw Xu Chaomu lower her eyelids, silently staring at the tea in her hand.

In the transparent glass cup, the green tea leaves twisted and floated, gradually unfolding in the hot water.

“To me, he is one of a kind,” Xu Chaomu said, her tone spare yet solemn.

In a lifetime, one meets many people, some replaceable, but some are truly irreplaceable.

Since her mother’s death, Shen Chi had become her only one.

“Then, what kind of wife do you think a person like Achi ought to marry?” Zhou Ran’s tone was very calm.

This was a question Xu Chaomu had contemplated many times, and her answer presumably matched Zhou Ran’s.

“Someone with a good family background, attractive, sensible, generous, and a woman of gentle elegance,” Xu Chaomu replied truthfully.

She was an orphan, destined to lack a complete family, doomed to be without a good familial background.

Just on this point alone, she had already lost.

She had her tempers too, ungentle, imperfect, and as for looks, women like her were a dime a dozen.

She could not find a single advantage in herself, therefore, she also understood in her heart that she was not worthy of Shen Chi.

“Then which of these do you think you possess?” Zhou Ran asked bluntly.

“I have none of them,” Xu Chaomu said softly.

“I’ve heard from the servants of the Shen family that Achi is very fond of you, sometimes even carefully serving you soup.”

“Yes,” Xu Chaomu did not deny.

She was aware of all the kindnesses Shen Chi showed her.

“But do you know how tiring his work is, how he has to worry about all the big and small affairs of the company?”

“I know.”

He was busy; she understood that.

“But what have you done to share his burden?”

Xu Chaomu was left speechless by Zhou Ran’s question; indeed, she had never shared his burdens.

“I’ve heard that you and Achi have obtained a marriage certificate. Whether it’s in name or in substance, have you fulfilled any responsibilities of a wife?”

Xu Chaomu fell silent, acknowledging the truth in Zhou Ran’s words.

“Love is the cheapest thing, a consumable, the thing that’s least resistant to the test of time. Do you think that love alone is enough for the decades that a couple spends together? Achi will get tired, and so will you.”

Xu Chaomu lifted her clear eyes. She was no longer the impulsive child of yesteryear—she understood.

“Also, Chaomu, you should know about the incident thirteen years ago where I caused your mother’s death. So, when you’re with Achi, can you really be at peace?”

Xu Chaomu’s heart surged slowly, every sentence Zhou Ran uttered struck at her heart.

Zhou Ran was formidable. She knew what Xu Chaomu feared, and so that was what she spoke of.

If the previous words were like slowly dragging a knife across her heart, this sentence was a harsh stab.

These memories, she had buried them at the bottom of her heart, but she hadn’t forgotten.

Now, suddenly dredged up, that old pain returned.

After a long silence, she finally spoke.

“Aunt Zhou, I cannot be at peace, and likewise, can you?” Xu Chaomu said calmly.

“You can go to the police, I won’t deny it.”

Xu Chaomu gave a bitter smile. Go to the police?

Would she have Zhou Ran arrested, let her spend her final years in prison? Would Shen Chi then despise her for life? Would she and Shen Chi remain estranged till death?

Seeing Xu Chaomu not speak, Zhou Ran continued.

“Chaomu, when I asked you to leave Achi five years ago, it was for your own good, as well as for Achi’s. You and Achi are not suitable. Five years later, my words are the same, leave Achi. Although, I don’t know what you came back with after five years, what your purpose truly is.”

“I have no purpose. In love, there is no ‘purpose.’

She had never thought about why she loved him; she simply felt that if you love, you love – what reason is there?

Outsiders might label her with many motives—because of money, because of status. In short, when it comes to love, they find it laughable and do not bother to believe.

“It’s good if there’s no purpose,” Zhou Ran spoke in a low voice, “The title of Fourth Young Madam attracts too many people.”

“So, in your eyes, I, an orphan without anyone, naturally want to cling to a life-saving straw, and then, escape poverty and lowliness, right?”

Zhou Ran frowned, hesitating as she looked at Xu Chaomu: “Aren’t you?”

“I don’t need the whole world to believe in me, as long as he understands, that’s enough,” Xu Chaomu stated calmly.

How can a person please everyone in this world?

If the person you care about the most believes in you, that’s all you need.

What does the rest of the world matter then? He is your world.

Shen Cexian had been sitting quietly on the side throughout the conversation, with Zhou Ran doing all the talking.

“You’re still so naïve,” Zhou Ran scoffed lightly, “A lifetime isn’t just a matter between two people. He trusts you, but for how long can he keep trusting you?”

“I think that term can last a lifetime.”

Zhou Ran snorted derisively, “Is it that you’re overconfident in yourself, or in him? Aren’t you afraid that his kindness and trust in you are only out of guilt?”

“He doesn’t owe me anything; why should he feel guilty? Shouldn’t it be you, Aunt Zhou, who should feel guilt?”

Once Xu Chaomu said this, a flash of discomfort crossed Zhou Ran’s usually expressionless face.

But, she quickly suppressed the expression on her face.

“If you wish to remain naïve, then continue on. Just understand, falling from a high place is not a pleasant feeling,” Zhou Ran said, her tone insipid but with an undertone of warning.

Xu Chaomu knew that falling from a high place, the worst outcome is to be shattered to pieces.

She was like dust, while Shen Chi was the brightest of stars.

As she drew near him, could she ensure that she wouldn’t fall from that height?

“Aunt Zhou, I understand what you mean,” Xu Chaomu said softly.

She understood these words, even without them being spoken.

“Chaomu, there’s one more thing, I’ve heard you’re pregnant.”

Zhou Ran’s piercing gaze did not leave Xu Chaomu’s face, not missing any change in her expression.

“Yes, three months now.” Xu Chaomu admitted openly.

The news of her pregnancy was known to the entire Shen family; Zhou Ran surely knew it as well.

“Whose child is it?” Zhou Ran asked.

“You needn’t ask.”

“Fine, I don’t want to know either,” Zhou Ran said.